


Idiosyncrasies

by flavouredice



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack, Humor, I was really young, M/M, Multi, Parody, it's just crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-06-13
Updated: 2009-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-09 00:09:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flavouredice/pseuds/flavouredice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friends, well they're the only ones that really get you. What do you expect? You're all the same kind of crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Another Day

**Author's Note:**

> at some point in my life - albeit while i was rather young - i thought this constituted humour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roxas' POV

"You know you like it, Rox."

"Get your fat ass off of me, Axel!" I said while pushing the redhead.

"Gasp, Roxas! How dare you insult the ass!" He stuck a finger in my face, looking comically aghast.

I scoffed. "Yeah, like we haven't before."

Demnyx silently shook his head while Axel feigned mock horror. "But Roxas! How could you insult  _me_?"

I looked at Axel skeptically. "Easy. Axel, your hair sucks, your hips could bear children, and you look like a creeper. There, I just insulted you."

Demnyx smirked slightly in his forced frown and Axel flipped his hair while putting his nose in the air.

"I'm insulted, Rox."

I looked at him, "That's the plan."

"To do what? Insult me?"

"Yup." Demnyx nodded his head in agreement.

Axel pulled a pair of glasses off of a passing by student and placed them on the bridge of his nose. He looked down his nose at Demy and me.

"To derive a human being of even the simplest of statuses among his group is to ridicule one's self among his safe havens."

"Do you even know what that means?"

Axel placed the glasses onto Mr. Donator's head. "I would like to think that I do."

Demnyx laughed quietly to himself. "Yea, Axel, Keep living in your imaginary world."

Axel stuck up his nose back into the air and slapped me the back of my head. "I think I will."

"Good for you Axel" I exclaimed; sarcastically praising him. "You've actually mastered the art of using your brain!"

"Yes Axel." Demy drawled in agreement. "A great achievement."

Not wanting to give into our taunts, Axel played along. "I know, isn't it?"


	2. Me? Effeminate? No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riku's POV

I shut my locker with my elbow due to my hand being full with my next class' binders. A stray stand of hair found its way to my mouth – aren't ponytails supposed to keep hair away from your face? – and spat it out with little notice of my surroundings, fan girls and otherwise. I fished through tiny cliques and headed towards my class, going around a corner in record time, and stumble upon… Axel, who was currently occupied with smacking Roxas up-side the head, and a sniggering Demyx. Dem held a binder on his knee, clutching it for the support that only a wall could give him, and finally paused enough to scribble something on an imperfect piece of paper.

I paused before making my way towards them, feral grin slithering onto my features. "Tie the knot yet?" I asked pointedly at Roxas and Axel.

Roxas' head jerked up comically in my direction, eyes twinkling with a playful mirth. He promptly shoved Axel's shoulder, who only nodded in my direction, and a wide grin was plastered on his face.

"Last night. Didn't you get an invite?" Roxas pouted in Axel's direction, only receiving a wink in return.

I tugged at my ponytail, trying but alas failing, to repress my laughter.

The pout quickly dropped off of Roxas' face and was replaced with a small, deviant smirk, ocean pools capturing mine.

_Play along._

"Hey Ri-ku. Doesn't Axel just have the  _girliest_  hips you've ever seen?" I blinked twice, a neutral, almost as pure as the driven snow, look spreading across my features. I pretended to take his comment into consideration.

"Now that you mention it…"

Axel gasped in mock horror. "Not you too!"

Demyx chose now to interrupt. "The Darkside had pie, Axel." He put the paper away. "I gotta get to class. Miss Aeris is letting us pick seats again." He waved before disappearing into the very crowd that I had come from.

I looked back at Axel with a single eyebrow raised, challenging him to think of something witty to protect his male integrity. You could see the cogs working in his head until something _clicked_.

There was a pregnant pause before Axel said, "Okay Roxas, my hips could bear children…" A grin was slowly growing on his face. "At least I have big feet." He waggled his eyebrows comically.

I paused, looked down at my feet, then at his. "Huh?"

He looked at me aghast. "You know what they say about dudes with big feet. They have big-" Roxas let out a peel of laughter, before finally calming down.

"Axel, your feet pale in comparison to Sora's."


	3. Sugar and Alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Axel's POV

I quickly high-tailed it to my class as the second bell rang, cursing myself for getting easily distracted by Riku's sudden appearance. I also wouldn't be in this predicament if I had Aeris next instead of Squall… Oh, I'm sorry. He prefers  _Leon_. Annoying bastard. I swear, it's like he's got a pole in his ass, or SOMETHING, because he's always yelling at me to pay attention – why hello there, my sexys.

I paused, looking at the swim team come out of practice, all wet, deliciously so and – where was I?

I skidded to a halt as I realized that I had just passed my classroom. Huh. That was fast. I quietly walked in, hoping that Mr. Pole-up-the-ass wouldn't see-

"So nice of you to join us, Mr. Firaga."

I stopped, a dear caught in headlights. What to say, what to say, what to say…

"Looking as  _fine_  as ever, Squall."

Leon raised up an eyebrow comically, arms folded in front of his chest. "I believe I am right in assuming then, that you have not done your written assignment yet, Mr. Firaga?" The class began to snicker quietly. "Flattery is usually one of your last ditch attempts."

I froze. Shit. What was that assignment? "No, actually, I have it right… here." WHER'S HERE?

I searched through my binder, hoping to have some random writing assignment that I had forgotten to hand in last time… and found a wrinkled, stained sheet dated from two days ago. This should be alright, right?

I handed the sheet of paper to Squall.

"And what is this?"

"The… assignment… you wanted…?"

Leon frowned. "The one about the affects of alcohol on the brain?"

My eyes lit up. "Yup! That's definitely the one! With alcohol…" Uuumm… if it was written under the influence of alcohol, does it still count?

Squall seemed to accept my explanation and sat back down at his desk, reading my assignment. He pulled out a red pen and began writing a large F on the front and simultaneously looked up.

"You may go,  _Axel_."

"My pleasure,  _Squall_."

I was about to go to my desk when Leon looked at me sharply.

" _Ass babies? Ass babies, Axel?"_


End file.
